beejfu | IC Inbox

Quit making yourself horny while you're cleaning!

You can't throw around words like 'lean' and 'well-proportioned' like you're a piece of meat I just want to bite into!

I will not be held responsible for your proclivities! Most people don't get turned on by meat!

You really don't want this rump roast?

[He hits his own thighs]

Sure, but I don't have a floor to mop.

[He hops up onto the barrier of the ship, watching Betelgeuse appreciatively.]

And I can wait.

[He sticks out his forked striped tongue obscenely at Rhys, before going back to wiping up the blood and tossing the ruined sheets over the side of the ship.]

Yeah, I know I'm on display for you here.

Yeah, this is like a sexy carwash kind of situation. Except instead of girls in bikinis washing a car, it's a man in a suit mopping up blood.

[So hot.]

[He pauses, and then starts to strip. Sexily. In broad daylight, with Hange and who else knows present]

Hey! No! Keep your pants on! You're going to get gore on your suit if you take it off here!

[He'll look at your butt later!]

Oh I'll keep my pants on. Check this out, Stringbean. Ragh!

[That suit? It's a tearaway suit.

He appears in the same suit again, but smaller]

Always dress in layers!

Aah!

[What? What is this?]

Have you just been up here wearing two suits on top of each other?

[Pause]

Why?

Yeah.

[he blinks, then looks back at the pieces of the tearaway suit on the ground]

Sight gags?

You're gonna end up with no suits left! Which isn't a disaster for a guy who wants to see you naked, but you won't be happy about it.

Bill gave me like ten suits! One for every day of the week.

You will never see me fully naked, Rhysball.

Yeah, and if you keep going through 'em like that you're going to end up with none left.

And don't say never, you might change your mind!

No, Stringbean, I won't.

Is that because you think I won't like it, or because you don't like it?

The second. I already know you're a sick freak who's into weird shit.

Orrrr, you have low self esteem and need a second opinion.

OR

OR

OR SOME THINGS ARE PRIVATE, STRINGBEAN. And you aren't respecting my BOUNDARIES.

I respect them! Just because I want to be allowed past them doesn't mean I don't respect them!

Well get used to your side of the wall, because this? This right here? You're neeeever going to see!

[Rhys sighs, all unfulfilled longing:]

The forbidden fruit...

Shh. No, no. Don't call it that. I've read that book, it's not a good book. Don't think of it as forbidden, think of it as never thinking about it at all.

[Rhys kicks his feet, expression turning a little more serious.]

Okay, so, understanding that I'm never going to see it and this isn't a ploy to get under your shirt: If this is really upsetting to you, I want you to be able to talk to me about it.

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