After an inmate used me as a blood sacrifice, Bill and I whipped up an alchemical formula to make sure it never happened again.
[Ford rolls up his left sleeve, pushing the sweater and jacket up to his elbow to reveal a forearm tattoo that looks like someone did calculus with the Emerald Tablet. Most of it is tattoo, but a few of the symbols look drawn-on.]
Right now, this thing turns any blood that leaves my body into helium! But by replacing some of the symbols, I can change the substance it turns into. I've been diluting ammonia for cleaning for over a year now.
Horseriver. He graduated and left shortly after he killed me.
[Go figure, right? is in Ford's tone.]
Anyway, there's only one vampire on the ship I'm aware of, and we're on very good terms. But I suppose if we got another, they'd be in for a nasty surprise, ha ha!
Well, they'd have to understand precisely how the alchemical symbols are worked into the formula in order to make anything change. And besides, they'd have to know it was there in the first place!
[It takes Ford a long few seconds to parse it. Is he being literal, because 1+1 is less than three, that's true, but it's also not flirtatious enough to be what Bill means...
It is a vague memory of Mabel, combined with breaches where Ford has actually used the internet, that gives him the answer.]
[A hopeful look. He puts his left hand up, holding up index and middle fingers, and puts his right hand up in a clawed motion for index, middle and ring fingers. These are placed together to form what can loosely be called a heart]
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After an inmate used me as a blood sacrifice, Bill and I whipped up an alchemical formula to make sure it never happened again.
[Ford rolls up his left sleeve, pushing the sweater and jacket up to his elbow to reveal a forearm tattoo that looks like someone did calculus with the Emerald Tablet. Most of it is tattoo, but a few of the symbols look drawn-on.]
Right now, this thing turns any blood that leaves my body into helium! But by replacing some of the symbols, I can change the substance it turns into. I've been diluting ammonia for cleaning for over a year now.
[He scoots the sleeve back down.]
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Oh shit, nice. I bet vampires hate you, that's hilarious.
Who was the inmate?
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[Go figure, right? is in Ford's tone.]
Anyway, there's only one vampire on the ship I'm aware of, and we're on very good terms. But I suppose if we got another, they'd be in for a nasty surprise, ha ha!
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I mean, it's fucked up if you ever needed to give a kidney or a blood transfusion to your brother but great too!
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What happens if someone ties you down and draws on you?
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Okay, but you do realize I'm a demonic entity you just showed that to. Right?
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[Because this formula involves a lot of math. Atomic weights. Chemical compositions.]
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Unless you're talking about boning mathematicians in which case I am a goddamn genius at math. Hey, what's you plus me equal?
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[This comes out automatically, because that's how banter goes, because Ford is hardwired for comedy.]
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[<3]
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[It takes Ford a long few seconds to parse it. Is he being literal, because 1+1 is less than three, that's true, but it's also not flirtatious enough to be what Bill means...
It is a vague memory of Mabel, combined with breaches where Ford has actually used the internet, that gives him the answer.]
Oh. A heart?
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Ladies and gentlemen, he CAN be taught!