[oh, Ford can't even begin to tell you how much he doesn't want to be home base.]
I'm positive I'm not the only one on this ship who wouldn't hurt you in your sleep.
[Betelgeuse sleeping in Ford's cabin feels like getting way more tangled up than Ford wants to be. He told Bill -- Betelgeuse is repulsive. A liar. He likes fucking with Ford, pretending that a handshake is a magic contract.]
[Give him an inch, and he takes a mile. Good god, someone please surgically remove Betelgeuse from Ford's life before his roots get any further.
But Ford can't treat him just like Bill. They're different. Betelgeuse deserves a chance, even if the similarities are there.
Ugh. People, out here, throwing demons overboard or underwater in their sleep and treating their suffering like it's funny, leaving Ford picking up the mess. Fuckin rude of them.]
You can sleep here -- temporarily -- on a few conditions.
First -- you can stay in my house until the next flood. When that happens, you have to leave. So you'd better find someone else with a cabin you can trust, or you'll be spending a lot of time in Zero.
...or in the power-proofed infirmary room, which might be more comfortable.
Two: I have a feeling that if I tell you not to snoop, that's only going to make you want to do it more. It'll only lead to wacky misadventures where you get into precisely what I was trying to keep you away from and all my work is ruined.
So, let me get this out of the way. The most interesting thing I have in this house is a secret room in the basement that has what's left of a transdimensional gateway in it. I'm trying to use the materials to build a ship that'll let me travel between realities. Some of those alloys don't even exist in the real world and can't be replaced.
Getting that ship is very important to me.
If something you do down there makes them unusable and I can't complete the project, I will never speak to you again.
Do you remember that agreement we almost made? The one where you would be sure to be honest with me, and signal me when you were lying for comedic effect?
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[People laughing at Betelgeuse because his suffering is funny is something that has been bothering Ford since Betelgeuse said it.]
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You are....safe. You're home base.
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I'm positive I'm not the only one on this ship who wouldn't hurt you in your sleep.
[Betelgeuse sleeping in Ford's cabin feels like getting way more tangled up than Ford wants to be. He told Bill -- Betelgeuse is repulsive. A liar. He likes fucking with Ford, pretending that a handshake is a magic contract.]
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It's hard for me to open up and trust people.
Please? Come on. I'm begging. Please?
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But Ford can't treat him just like Bill. They're different. Betelgeuse deserves a chance, even if the similarities are there.
Ugh. People, out here, throwing demons overboard or underwater in their sleep and treating their suffering like it's funny, leaving Ford picking up the mess. Fuckin rude of them.]
You can sleep here -- temporarily -- on a few conditions.
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[he leaps to his feet excitedly]
What conditions?
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...or in the power-proofed infirmary room, which might be more comfortable.
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So, let me get this out of the way. The most interesting thing I have in this house is a secret room in the basement that has what's left of a transdimensional gateway in it. I'm trying to use the materials to build a ship that'll let me travel between realities. Some of those alloys don't even exist in the real world and can't be replaced.
Getting that ship is very important to me.
If something you do down there makes them unusable and I can't complete the project, I will never speak to you again.
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Question: can I see the secret room?
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Okay, go on; third condition?
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[To be fair: the chair in question is wide enough for two butts and pretty comfortable. Easy to nap in.]
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[he plops down on it, eerily reminiscent of Stanley Pines]
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Although that room is also stinky and full of dirty magazines, so it might have worked out.]
Remember, in exchange, I want to know when you're telling the truth.
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[He makes an X over his heart, then looks put-out when his chest doesn't immediately burst into flames]
Oh, yeah, forgot about the lack of pyrotechnics.
Anyway, deal.
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