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[14thcommander]

It hardly seems like she's paying attention to him but Hange turns to face him head on a tiny bit more. She finishes off the one drinking song, and then switches to a folk song from her world; Hange's native language has some latent harshness to it, it sounds very Germanic, though it isn't German as earth knows it.

For all that it's a language full of sharp consonants and quick turns the song is popping and upbeat, especially now that Hange follows the tempo it should have.

[beejfu]

The change that comes over Betelgeuse is pretty remarkable. For one, he's listening, sitting still and shutting up and actually engaging. He drops to the floor to watch her, brightening up a little and calms down his temper tantrum he's been throwing on and off for three days solid.

Music is the go-to for chilling him out.

[14thcommander]

He did say that thing that one time, about liking musical theater. Hange switches seamlessly from this song from home into another one, a soldier's song, a scout's song, not that it's clear since her language isn't one an outsider would know.

She sings it through and lets the end trail off before speaking.

"Now, what was that really about?"

[beejfu]

"The song? Somethin' about fighting and friends long dead or some shit, I don't know, the language wasn't one I knew. Hey, but you have some nice pipes, babe."

[14thcommander]

"Thank you, but that evasion is really transparent."

[beejfu]

"Fine." He huffs again, but it's no longer with the simmering anger as before. He seems far more relaxed now that Hange sung for him. Not once, but three times!

"I'm going through some crap right now. And maybe I didn't address it in the most healthy of ways. I needed to destroy something but I didn't want it to be people I liked."

A pause, and then a guilty puppydog look towards Hange's arm.

[14thcommander]

"Going through what crap?"

Like a bloodhound with this frankly.

"Anyway. I'm glad that attacking me was an... outburst, not the main goal."

[beejfu]

"Well, I, uh. I like you, Hange." BJ is most sincere, and looks bashfully at her.

"I dunno. Just existential crisis crap. It happens sometimes when you're dead and trapped with your own thoughts for eternity. Just wasn't expecting it to all kinda come to a head at once."

[14thcommander]

"Is there some reason you're prevaricating on telling me exactly what caused this?"

Because if there IS one, she might let him out without him spilling his guts, but it had better not be a little baby reason, it had better be a good one.

[beejfu]

"I can't explain it! It's all just a lot of little things and voices and feelings and it all just ended up hitting so hard and I just. I was having a bad day."

He throws up his hands, but lowers them down with a sigh, thunking his head back against the wall.

"It's like. I thought this place was freedom but it just feels like I'm trapped again. And then there's stupid Ford and his stupid theories. And people getting ditched again. And getting scared about getting ditched too and going like, I have to do something to be noticed around here so that I'm interesting and the Big Guy'll want to keep me around, but then there's nowhere to go once I am all graduated and pre-packaged to go and I wanna stay here but I also wanna be with my buddies and friends I've made here and the one time I don't want things to change, it's in the place that makes all the changes happen so goddamn fast."

Thunk. Thunk.

"I don't care about the stupid library. I didn't want you guys to leave me."

[14thcommander]

"Alright."

That was what she wanted to hear. Hange pats the floor by her side. He should come and sit.

Where to even begin?

"... You know I can't reassure you. I don't control how or when people leave this place or don't. I do wish, if you were worried about that, you'd take one of Stanford's watches - it's the best chance of fishing you back up if you do get lost."

"I guess I have a hard time with this because things in my home changed like this all the time. My friends didn't mysteriously vanish, but they did die, and I never had them again or saw them again. I just had to continue..."

[beejfu]

He slinks over to her at the invite and drops down beside Hange, putting his head comfortably on her shoulder if she'll let him. He needs comfort.

"That's never been successfully tested and Tin Man can be full of shit." He reminds her, picking at his cuticles.

"They were still kicking around in the afterlife. When you die, you'll see 'em again."

[14thcommander]

"We're from totally different worlds. Are you sure I've got an afterlife for them to kick around in? They probably just dissolve. Are completely gone."

This is what she's always believed and still kind of believes, as much as the barge has inevitably shaken up some of her worldview.

"Anyway, let's not debate it. Look, I'm proud of you for going after a bunch of dead trees, not a living person. I guess you got the attention you wanted and then some, but maybe next time try what Rose suggested and seek out someone who cares about you to help. Rhys is so sweet on you, Rose is your friend, I'm here..."

Rose really did sound like what Hange would have suggested, hah.

[beejfu]

"Completely and painfully sure." He grumbles. "It may not look like mine but it exists."

He groans, lifting his head back up to put it in his hands.

"I can't. I just need to get out of here. I'm freaking out and I don't even know who I am and here's Ford coming over to tell me that I might not even exist and it's like, wow, who does that?"

[14thcommander]

"You wanna call Bill up and watch some incredibly stupid movie in one of the common rooms? Not a war movie."

[beejfu]

"What's the point? I'm not asking because I don't want to - I totally do - but why aren't you spiraling into despair? You graduate me, I go back, and I disappear from existence. End of story! Nothing that's matter matters!"

[14thcommander]

"Who says you have to go back? Why would you have to do that? Look, you graduate and when I'm done here, you can come with me. Or you can go with Rhys. Or go with Rose. Or shop up a new world you like, and we set you up there."

[beejfu]

This is not an angle Betelgeuse had considered. He stares, lizardlike and unblinking, at Hange like he expects her to pull the rug out from under him.

"You'd let me come with you?"

[14thcommander]

"Yes. And you should think carefully about whether you want to wait for that, because after you're done, I might need another deal, and I might want to stay for a while anyway, because best case scenario... I'd like not to be locked in to staying with my people."

She hasn't really said this to anyone so explicitly before and pauses.

"And after I am done here, I feel I owe my people at least some of my time. Five years, at least. I'll be changing everything for them... I want to help them settle to that. But I never thought of this as a low-commitment relationship."

[beejfu]

BJ sucks in a breath, then says, painstakingly slow;

"But I set you on fire."

[14thcommander]

"Yeah. You sure did, and luckily it didn't catch, and I've had worse."

She stares at him with narrow eye.

"Let me make it clear: I have limited tolerance for that shit. Don't do that again. But I am prepared to forgive you for that, because you are still working things out."

[beejfu]

He hisses, sitting back down with arms crossed.

"Okay, but like. What's your deal, kid? Because you're giving me this weird hope spot and if I know me, I know you'll get tired of my shit and will leave for good."

[14thcommander]

"Oh, I'm relocating all my people to a new planet for starters."

Heh heh. Heeeh heh heh.

[beejfu]

Eye roll.

"Leave the jokes to me, Hange."

[14thcommander]

Innocent: "You asked what my deal was and I told you."