[Okay Rhys is laughing now. Helplessly entertained by Betelgeuse's definition of phone sex. He becomes serious again when he's accused of illicit boyfriend jerking off.]
I was not! He didn't know what was going on until Ford started yelling at us!
[Rude of you Ford. Yelling at Rhys. Distracting Elijah from his work in the adjoining room.]
[If he were less miffed by having to lay down ground rules about sex in his house, Ford might have laughed. Instead he just waves a hand dismissively.]
I hadn't considered anything like that. Mostly, I've been using my own blood, and that's been working out fine, so...
After an inmate used me as a blood sacrifice, Bill and I whipped up an alchemical formula to make sure it never happened again.
[Ford rolls up his left sleeve, pushing the sweater and jacket up to his elbow to reveal a forearm tattoo that looks like someone did calculus with the Emerald Tablet. Most of it is tattoo, but a few of the symbols look drawn-on.]
Right now, this thing turns any blood that leaves my body into helium! But by replacing some of the symbols, I can change the substance it turns into. I've been diluting ammonia for cleaning for over a year now.
Horseriver. He graduated and left shortly after he killed me.
[Go figure, right? is in Ford's tone.]
Anyway, there's only one vampire on the ship I'm aware of, and we're on very good terms. But I suppose if we got another, they'd be in for a nasty surprise, ha ha!
Well, they'd have to understand precisely how the alchemical symbols are worked into the formula in order to make anything change. And besides, they'd have to know it was there in the first place!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: VOICE
He looks at Betelgeuse's lack of pants.
He hears Rhys over the speakerphone.
....]
Are you having phone sex in my living room!?
Re: VOICE
Oh no don't laugh.
Rhys CLEARS HIS THROAT OVER THE COMMUNICATOR:]
So anyway we were thinking maybe tomorrow night? For dinner?
[THAT'S ALL THIS WAS, JUST INNOCENT DINNER PLANS BEING MADE.]
Re: VOICE
Dinner, Ford. Neither of us can see what our invitee is or is not wearing.
Re: VOICE
I wasn't! Phone sex is where you insert the phone into you! Everyone knows that, and as you can see I-
[he pauses at hearing a fourth voice on the line and demands, scandalized]
Rhys, were you jacking it with your boyfriend while we were having phone sex?!
Re: VOICE
Oh boy. Alright, well, Rhys is Elijah's problem.]
If you're going to have phone sex, do it somewhere besides my house! Take it to an empty cabin, there's plenty of those.
[--and, because he knows by now that Betelgeuse is the most sensitive and anxious murderdemon he's ever met, Ford is very clear here:]
You can come back when you're done.
Re: VOICE
I was not! He didn't know what was going on until Ford started yelling at us!
[Rude of you Ford. Yelling at Rhys. Distracting Elijah from his work in the adjoining room.]
VOICE
[and also maybe a bit of a troll]
Re: VOICE
No thanks, it's all gone soft now. Hey, can you help me find my pants? They're somewhere around here.
[a vague hand-wave at the living room]
Holy shit. Rhys; are you still there? Did I hear someone say dinner?
VOICE
Well, what would YOU have done if you'd found someone half naked in your living room?!
[An aside, to Betelgeuse:]
You can find your pants yourself.
Re: VOICE
[Complete deadpan, honest answer to that question.]
And yeah, dinner. Thursday night okay for you?
[ooc: I am absolutely mangling the timeline of these threads so please just mentally substitute any day there that makes sense.]
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[Elijah has nothing further to interject, so he'll be leaving you all alone for this.....very important and mature conversation.]
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Yeah! We'll be there!
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[He's just going to.....not tell Stan about that.]
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No -- encounters inside the Shack. It's hard enough keeping the place clean already. Understand?
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I'm kind of shocked you haven't found a way to like, clean something using light techniques or sonic waves or other science bullshit.
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I hadn't considered anything like that. Mostly, I've been using my own blood, and that's been working out fine, so...
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After an inmate used me as a blood sacrifice, Bill and I whipped up an alchemical formula to make sure it never happened again.
[Ford rolls up his left sleeve, pushing the sweater and jacket up to his elbow to reveal a forearm tattoo that looks like someone did calculus with the Emerald Tablet. Most of it is tattoo, but a few of the symbols look drawn-on.]
Right now, this thing turns any blood that leaves my body into helium! But by replacing some of the symbols, I can change the substance it turns into. I've been diluting ammonia for cleaning for over a year now.
[He scoots the sleeve back down.]
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Oh shit, nice. I bet vampires hate you, that's hilarious.
Who was the inmate?
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[Go figure, right? is in Ford's tone.]
Anyway, there's only one vampire on the ship I'm aware of, and we're on very good terms. But I suppose if we got another, they'd be in for a nasty surprise, ha ha!
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I mean, it's fucked up if you ever needed to give a kidney or a blood transfusion to your brother but great too!
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What happens if someone ties you down and draws on you?
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