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[beejfu]

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[beejfu]

The afterlife isn't nice. It fucking blows.

And there's no dogs in hell.

[He opens his hands to let Sandy slither around in the space between their legs.]

[corkscrewed]

[ martin will flinch briefly, but he doesn't pull his legs back. ]

Sounds better than being - blasted into oblivion, I guess. The idea that you live on in some capacity. I dunno.

[beejfu]

You don't live on. You're dead.

[pedantic? sure. But you're reminding him of what he never got to feel.

Sandy slithers around but seems she's calmed down for now and sticks out a forked tongue to smell the air better]

[corkscrewed]

What's the difference?

[ and he's not being combative: it's a sincere question. ]

[beejfu]

Living on means that you've got, like. Feelings and goals and aren't just stuck forever at a literal dead-end job with nothing.

When you're dead, that all goes away. You enter this void and you just don't wake up from that.

[corkscrewed]

You don't have feelings?

[ he's watching sandy so, so closely, like he's ready to bolt at the first sign of aggression. ]

[beejfu]

I kind of have the ghost?? of feelings?

Like.

Ugh, it's so hard to explain this shit.

You know that when you feel happy, you have these chemicals that go to your brain? Saying, oh, that was good, do that again?

I'm born dead. There's nothing to feel. Just like, images of those feelings. Copy-catting it from the whining newly deads.

[Sandy hisses when she makes eye contact with Martin, and goes to hide in the shadow of a knee]

[corkscrewed]

[ he winces at the hiss, but to his credit, he doesn't jerk his leg away. that explanation - well, it makes sense. ]

You've come pretty far, knowing that.

[beejfu]

Yeah, well, I'm an embarrassment to demonic forces everywhere. Don't rub it in, you living meat sack.

[he crouches down to lure Sandy out of hiding, petting her so that she rolls over on her side]

[corkscrewed]

I'm complimenting you.

[ martin is going to hesitate, and then sloooowly reach as if to pet sandy. ]

[beejfu]

...Why?


[He looks worried. and disturbed. Sandy does too, tensing when his hand comes near her. BJ swiftly sees what's about to happen and takes Martin's wrist, bringing it down instead of over her head]

Like this. Otherwise she thinks you're a threat, Puppy.

[corkscrewed]

[ martin tenses as well, allowing bj to guide his hand. ]

You probably would've thought it was funny if I got bit when we first met.

[beejfu]

I still think it's funny.

[He says, until Martin's fingers are touching the snake and she calms down, wilting under his touch when it's clear he's not going to come at her with a plunger]

[corkscrewed]

Then why didn't you let it happen?

[ again, he's not arguing - just trying to understand as he cautiously pets the snake. ]

[beejfu]

Look at her, she's so little and defenseless now. I was scared you'd hurt her.

[corkscrewed]

Fair enough, I guess.

[ martin will continue to pet her for a long, silent moment, before he pulls his hand back and forces himself to relax. ]

[beejfu]

[as Martin relaxes, so does Sandy, going from a tense, wary position to a more relaxed, happy posture. She yawns, showing off both heads, one tucked inside of the other]

Aw.

[corkscrewed]

[ and martin's forced relaxation will become a little more sincere. ]

Still can't believe you sicced her on me.

[beejfu]

I've been really bored and wanted attention.

[corkscrewed]

--just text me next time, okay?

[beejfu]

I did text you. Texting you that my sandworm is loose is technically still texting.

[corkscrewed]

You know what I mean. Before you do something to endanger others.

[beejfu]

Hah, yeah. She's endangering. Endangeringly endearing.

[corkscrewed]

Beetlejuice. I get it. I get lonely, too.

[beejfu]

[He shuts up, actually looking?? skeptical??]

Yeah. Sure you do, kid.

[it's not said dismissively, but in a defeatist tone that demands elaboration]