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[beejfu]

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[beejfu]

With the candlestick, murdering Colonel Mustard?

[oh hang on he's knocking. BJ scrambles up to go answer.

He smells terrible. Looks worse, like he hasn't moved in months. Unshaven, unwashed, general depression-level stink, but he breaks into a watery grin when he sees Bill]

[tetractys]

[Oh boy. He looks like he's been hit by a bus. Bill goes in for a hug. Sheesh.]

[beejfu]

[Smelly hugs!!! He wraps his arms around Bill, relieved!]

Heyyyy.

[tetractys]

HEY.

[As soon as he's back out of the hug and can look BJ in the eye he's got a pretty pressing question though:]

RHYS IS GONE?

[beejfu]

[He gives a sad intake of breath, holding in tears. And a nod]

[tetractys]

WELL, HE CAME AS A WARDEN ...

[Okay. Bill Cipher is good at making plans and solving problems. Gears are turning.]

AND HE'S GOT SOMEONE FROM HIS WORLD HERE THAT CAN GO HOME, THE ROBOT THAT ACTS LIKE A KID. NEXT TIME SHE GOES HOME, I'LL ASK HER TO SEE IF HE'S ALIVE AND REMEMBERS THE SHIP. UNTIL THEN, WE'RE NOT GOING TO PANIC.

[beejfu]

I'm not panicking.

[and he's not. Kind of the opposite, really. BJ's shut himself down]

Okay. Sure. If you think it'll help, but, man...I dunno. This place is fucked.

[tetractys]

YEAH. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DISAPPEAR SINCE STAN BROUGHT ME BACK TO LIFE AT HOME! I CAN JUST GO BACK THERE AND ESCAPE AGAIN.

[beejfu]

Oh, no shit? I was just sticking around until Loki could get out. I owe it to my boy.

Hey, good luck. Getting home and all.

[tetractys]

HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO AFTER THIS? 'CAUSE, FIRST OF ALL, I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE TOLD YOU THIS, BUT I'M TOTALLY DISCONNECTED FROM THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM. I CAN SCOOP UP RHYS AS LONG AS HE EXISTED AT SOME POINT, WHICH HE DID.

[beejfu]

I mean, my short-term plans were to go to Rosie's world. It's where your boy is too. Apart from that....

Not a clue!

[tetractys]

YEAH, I NEVER WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN. I'M SETTING UP A BARGE OF MY OWN! I WANT TO FIGURE OUT HOW THE MULTIVERSE WORKS, AND HELP WORLDS LIKE HANGE'S THAT HAVE PROBLEMS THAT CAN BE EASILY SOLVED WITH MAGIC OR TECHNOLOGY THAT ONLY EXISTS SOMEWHERE ELSE.

AND, YOU KNOW, IF PEOPLE WANT TO MAKE A DEAL WITH ME FOR THAT KIND OF THING...

YOU SHOULD COME!

[beejfu]

Holy shit.

That sounds like an amazing idea. I love that.

You got room for a first mate?

[tetractys]

SURE, YEAH, THAT'S WHY I'M INVITING YOU! WE SHOULD TALK HANGE INTO COMING, TOO!

[Bill flies in an excited little loop around BJ.]

[beejfu]

[he gives a happy squeal and a high five]

Fuck yeah we should! She'd love it!

[tetractys]

[HI-FIVE!]

IF WE LET HER, SHE'LL STAY ON HER HORRIBLE HOME PLANET UNTIL SHE DIES AGAIN HELPING THEM. WE HAVE TO GET HER TO SAY ENOUGH'S ENOUGH AT SOME POINT!

[beejfu]

Oh fuck.

We can't let her do that. Her stupid sacrificial gene makes her a naturally good person.

[tetractys]

SURE, YEAH, SOMETHING LIKE THAT! LET'S WORK TOGETHER ON IT.

[beejfu]

Do we spring the idea on her at dinner, or....?

[tetractys]

NAH, WE SHOULD BE SUBTLE ABOUT IT. SHE'LL JUST ARGUE IF WE GO BIG, RIGHT?

[beejfu]

I don't know if I can DO subtle without a good script.

[tetractys]

YOU KNOW, THAT IS TRUE ABOUT YOU.

[Bill has never seen him do it, anyway.]

WELL, DON'T BE DISHONEST THEN, JUST, EEEH, DON'T ASSUME WE'RE GOING TO CONVINCE HER RIGHT AWAY. OR THIS MONTH, OR THIS YEAR! WE HAVE TO WEAR HER DOWN.

[beejfu]

Wear a woman down until her resistance is spent? That seems morally dubious and unethical.

[tetractys]

YEAH!

[Cheerful. Sounds fine, ethics isn't real.]

[beejfu]

Oh my god Bill. Fake it til you make it!