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[beejfu]

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[beejfu]

Babes, that is my whole aesthetic. I make everything worse. Mostly on purpose.

What's going on?

[supposedtochange]

I spoke to some of the Gems I left behind.

[The rest is harder to get out.]

And...and my son.

[beejfu]

I keep forgetting you're a mom.

Guessing that didn't go so hot.

[supposedtochange]

No. It didn't.

I thought Peridot had been exaggerating, but...if anything, she didn't go far enough.

All I am to them now is the source of all the problems they've been fixing.

[beejfu]

Wow. Okay.

[His voice changes into something more...angry? Defensive?]

Rosie, don't let 'em get to you. They're breathers. The living always has a short-sighted view of things.

Holy crap. This is the first - maybe only - time you get to talk to these assholes and they sit around to play the blame game?

And they call you a problem? You're dead. You've got your own shit to worry about.

Sorry. Sorry.

I'm just.

Very angry right now.

[supposedtochange]

It's not - they didn't call me a problem. Not exactly. But they all seem to agree I left behind a lot of things that needed fixing, and Pearl -

Pearl was the most important person in my life, she was the only one who was always there for just me, for thousands of years. I love her.

And she couldn't even say I'd be wanted back on Earth. And Steven - my son thinks I'm a coward and that all I ever did was make mistakes!

[She's...getting worked up.]

I didn't know what to say to them! I'm sorry I didn't do a perfect job of saving humanity? If I'd known all of this was going to happen, I'd have just stayed on Homeworld so half of them would never even have the chance to exist?

[beejfu]

Sounds to me like your son's a real little shit.

Sorry, Rosie. Humanity and me never really got along. You die and to them you stop being a person with, like. Feelings and personality. They put all this crap on your shoulders because you're not real to them anymore.

And then when you finally, finally, stop being an invisible fucking presence, you're ripped into because all their stupid living bullshit wants to have an outlet.

I say, fuck 'em. Wait until they die and some other breather puts the blame on them.

Fuck. Sorry, I just.

Fuck.

They shouldn't treat you like that.

[supposedtochange]

[Rose exhales slowly.]

Steven's...done amazing things. Things I could never have dreamed of. And he's had it so hard. He sounds like a wonderful person.

But...you're right about the rest. I guess I didn't realise I was going to be remembered like...that.

[As the scapegoat.]

[beejfu]

It's easy to blame the dead, Rosie. We don't have the voice to fight back.

[supposedtochange]

I understand that.

I just...

I don't know what to do. When I first found out I could go home and be with Steven, I - it was all I could have ever hoped for. But if they don't want me...

[beejfu]

If they don't want you, they're fucking morons. You're great, Rosie! I love you, half this ship does too.

And I...know what it feels like to not be wanted.

[supposedtochange]

I...

Would you tell me about it?

[beejfu]

....Yeah. Totes.

You wanna...?

[He makes a weird hand gesture. He'd like to be summoned in person for this one.]

Tough to talk about over the phone. You get it.

[supposedtochange]

Oh-!

Yes, of course. Do I have to be outside my room, or...?

[beejfu]

Nah, not unless your room's warded. Just call my name, Rosie.

[supposedtochange]

Okay.

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!

[When he appears, he'll find Rose sitting on the end of her bed, looking a bit disheveled.]

[beejfu]

[Said ghost pops in sitting next to Rose on her bed, looking uncharacteristically small; his hands are in his lap as he sneaks a glance at her]

Thanks, Rosie.

Nice room.

[supposedtochange]

She looks around at the soft, seemingly endless pink clouds, the equally pink furniture, the stone doorway.

"It's my room from our temple. I...I might ask for it to be something else."

[beejfu]

He gives a rough chuckle devoid of humor.

"Hey, you should see my place. Total snore. We should redecorate one of these days. I'll put it on my calendar."

BJ makes like he's checking off an invisible calendar, but it's half hearted in the face of Rose's grief.

"....So. We were talking about shit times we had about not being wanted around by people we think love us. Is that where we left off?"

[supposedtochange]

She hiccups, eyes still wet and gleaming, and nods.

"Yes. Only - only if you don't mind."

[beejfu]

He sighs, nods, and drops down on his back to stare up at Rose's ceiling.

"Okay, well. Like I said. I wasn't always the most handsome, shambling dessicated corpse you see before you. I used to be alive. A real idiot. Naive and trusting and just all around begging to be taken advantage of. I didn't have a dad. Mom was telling me every day she wished I was never born, which is hilarious when you're a demon but shit when you're a four year old human."

He pauses to make a miming motion with his hand as in blah blah blah..

"Anyway. So blah blah usual tragic backstory. Do you know the 'Small Kid, Big City' narrative? That was me to a T. I struck out on my own and I was gonna make it big. Fell in love with this gorgeous chick. Girl. Woman. She had everything. Brains, a body you could die for, a mean streak a mile long and I was this dumb kid who fell hard."

He sits back up to point very seriously at Rose Quartz.

"Never trust anyone who's the whole package. If they have brains, beauty, talent, money, and drive, they're a sociopath. I speak from experience and from the heart."

[supposedtochange]

Rose lets out a wet little laugh.

(She didn't have money, so she's okay, right...?)

"I won't. I promise. What happened?"

cw; references to suicide

[beejfu]

"What happened? I fell in love. Hard, faster than you wouldn't believe." He gets sulky, which is usually an indication that he's embarrassed about his younger self.

"I did everything she wanted, everything she asked and more. She had me wrapped around her delicate little finger. If she called my name I'd be there in a heartbeat."

He pauses, his expression drawing into a frown, like he's having trouble remembering.

"And...I don't know, I guess she got bored, or wanted to see what I'd really do because she started 'testing' my adoration. Things got kinda bad between us. And then one day she calls me over in the dead of night and asks if I would do anything for her. So like a chump, I said yeah, 'course. Anything she asked. So she gives me a rope, and tells me if I really loved her, I'd go hang myself over the river outside her window."

[supposedtochange]

Rose looks just...horrified. She isn't naive, she knows what awful things humans can do to each other, but...

"And..." Her voice goes very quiet. "Did you?"

[beejfu]

He gives a weak grin back to her, shrugging.

"I was in love."