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[beejfu]

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[beejfu]

Aw, she's a snake. Not a worm. I thought you liked snakes!

[He offers Sandy to Martin to investigate]

[corkscrewed]

Big ones. I like big snakes.

[ he's a little 0_0 right now ]

She's going to bite me.

[beejfu]

Me too. She used to be like thirty feet long but when she died, Hange and the Admiral made me shrink her.

[He draws his arms back protectively over Sandy]

That's why she's got such attitude now. How would you feel if you were suddenly a tenth your size?

[corkscrewed]

Sorry. I'm not trying to hurt her feelings-

[ he can't believe he's in a bathroom literally talking about bj's snake. ]

Maybe we could go sit somewhere? Not here.

[beejfu]

Oh no, she can't hear what we're saying, she's a snake.

[He coos to her. She tries to bite his nose off, coiled angrily]

Totes. Lead the way, Hushpuppy.

[corkscrewed]

[ martin will lead them out, but on the way - ]

So, uh, your finger--?

[beejfu]

Huh?

[He checks his hand. It's already sealed over, no longer bleeding, and even has a bit of skin growth to it]

Oh yeah. Nah, healing powers off-screen. If you don't look at it or point it out, it grows faster.

[corkscrewed]

Well. [ muttered: ] Not looking at it won't be a problem.

[ their cabin's off limits; he doesn't want the snake to meet his cat. ]

I guess we can just... sit in the hallway...?

[beejfu]

Oh, totally. She'd like that. Sorry about the biting, she doesn't really know her own strength.

But it comes in handy!

[He coos at her, stroking her head gently]

She can clean out the pipes when they get clogged full of shit.

[corkscrewed]

[ martin rolls his eyes and takes a seat in the hallway, his back against the wall. ]

I shouldn't be surprised you'd end up with a pet sandworm.

[beejfu]

[He plops down on the opposite side of Martin, legs out to touch Martin's and create a kind of playfield for Sandy]

Well, you don't get a lot of choices if you want a pet where I come from. 'All dogs go to heaven' is more than just a movie, pal.

[corkscrewed]

[ he's actually perking up at that!!! ]

Wait, are you being serious right now?

[ thank god for the dogs ]

[beejfu]

Well, yeah. It wouldn't be eternal damnation if you got to have adorable puppies running around.

Any kind of heaven is like 80 / 20 dogs, probably.

[corkscrewed]

Beetlejuice, I've got to be honest: this is the best news I've heard since I got to the Barge.

[beejfu]

[He gives Martin a weird look, like telling him the sky was blue was 'news' to Martin]

Jesus, Hushpuppy, you didn't know?

What the shit do you think happens?

[corkscrewed]

Dunno. Never really thought the whole 'afterlife' idea held much weight. I mean, it's - it's definitely nice, but.

[ he shrugs!! ]

Probably different from one world to the next, too.

[beejfu]

The afterlife isn't nice. It fucking blows.

And there's no dogs in hell.

[He opens his hands to let Sandy slither around in the space between their legs.]

[corkscrewed]

[ martin will flinch briefly, but he doesn't pull his legs back. ]

Sounds better than being - blasted into oblivion, I guess. The idea that you live on in some capacity. I dunno.

[beejfu]

You don't live on. You're dead.

[pedantic? sure. But you're reminding him of what he never got to feel.

Sandy slithers around but seems she's calmed down for now and sticks out a forked tongue to smell the air better]

[corkscrewed]

What's the difference?

[ and he's not being combative: it's a sincere question. ]

[beejfu]

Living on means that you've got, like. Feelings and goals and aren't just stuck forever at a literal dead-end job with nothing.

When you're dead, that all goes away. You enter this void and you just don't wake up from that.

[corkscrewed]

You don't have feelings?

[ he's watching sandy so, so closely, like he's ready to bolt at the first sign of aggression. ]

[beejfu]

I kind of have the ghost?? of feelings?

Like.

Ugh, it's so hard to explain this shit.

You know that when you feel happy, you have these chemicals that go to your brain? Saying, oh, that was good, do that again?

I'm born dead. There's nothing to feel. Just like, images of those feelings. Copy-catting it from the whining newly deads.

[Sandy hisses when she makes eye contact with Martin, and goes to hide in the shadow of a knee]

[corkscrewed]

[ he winces at the hiss, but to his credit, he doesn't jerk his leg away. that explanation - well, it makes sense. ]

You've come pretty far, knowing that.

[beejfu]

Yeah, well, I'm an embarrassment to demonic forces everywhere. Don't rub it in, you living meat sack.

[he crouches down to lure Sandy out of hiding, petting her so that she rolls over on her side]