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[beejfu]

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[corkscrewed]

[ HAHA HE IS SHAKEN ]

Yeah, um - great! Thanks.

[ he is still white-knuckled on that plunger handle ]

[beejfu]

[Sandy keeps trying to bite the corpse man, who, as a treat, lets her snack on the pinky he gnawed off]

You okay kid? You look pale.

[corkscrewed]

Sorry. Uh. Just- a thing, you know.

[ he'll drop the plunger belatedly. ]

[beejfu]

Aw, she's a snake. Not a worm. I thought you liked snakes!

[He offers Sandy to Martin to investigate]

[corkscrewed]

Big ones. I like big snakes.

[ he's a little 0_0 right now ]

She's going to bite me.

[beejfu]

Me too. She used to be like thirty feet long but when she died, Hange and the Admiral made me shrink her.

[He draws his arms back protectively over Sandy]

That's why she's got such attitude now. How would you feel if you were suddenly a tenth your size?

[corkscrewed]

Sorry. I'm not trying to hurt her feelings-

[ he can't believe he's in a bathroom literally talking about bj's snake. ]

Maybe we could go sit somewhere? Not here.

[beejfu]

Oh no, she can't hear what we're saying, she's a snake.

[He coos to her. She tries to bite his nose off, coiled angrily]

Totes. Lead the way, Hushpuppy.

[corkscrewed]

[ martin will lead them out, but on the way - ]

So, uh, your finger--?

[beejfu]

Huh?

[He checks his hand. It's already sealed over, no longer bleeding, and even has a bit of skin growth to it]

Oh yeah. Nah, healing powers off-screen. If you don't look at it or point it out, it grows faster.

[corkscrewed]

Well. [ muttered: ] Not looking at it won't be a problem.

[ their cabin's off limits; he doesn't want the snake to meet his cat. ]

I guess we can just... sit in the hallway...?

[beejfu]

Oh, totally. She'd like that. Sorry about the biting, she doesn't really know her own strength.

But it comes in handy!

[He coos at her, stroking her head gently]

She can clean out the pipes when they get clogged full of shit.

[corkscrewed]

[ martin rolls his eyes and takes a seat in the hallway, his back against the wall. ]

I shouldn't be surprised you'd end up with a pet sandworm.

[beejfu]

[He plops down on the opposite side of Martin, legs out to touch Martin's and create a kind of playfield for Sandy]

Well, you don't get a lot of choices if you want a pet where I come from. 'All dogs go to heaven' is more than just a movie, pal.

[corkscrewed]

[ he's actually perking up at that!!! ]

Wait, are you being serious right now?

[ thank god for the dogs ]

[beejfu]

Well, yeah. It wouldn't be eternal damnation if you got to have adorable puppies running around.

Any kind of heaven is like 80 / 20 dogs, probably.

[corkscrewed]

Beetlejuice, I've got to be honest: this is the best news I've heard since I got to the Barge.

[beejfu]

[He gives Martin a weird look, like telling him the sky was blue was 'news' to Martin]

Jesus, Hushpuppy, you didn't know?

What the shit do you think happens?

[corkscrewed]

Dunno. Never really thought the whole 'afterlife' idea held much weight. I mean, it's - it's definitely nice, but.

[ he shrugs!! ]

Probably different from one world to the next, too.

[beejfu]

The afterlife isn't nice. It fucking blows.

And there's no dogs in hell.

[He opens his hands to let Sandy slither around in the space between their legs.]

[corkscrewed]

[ martin will flinch briefly, but he doesn't pull his legs back. ]

Sounds better than being - blasted into oblivion, I guess. The idea that you live on in some capacity. I dunno.

[beejfu]

You don't live on. You're dead.

[pedantic? sure. But you're reminding him of what he never got to feel.

Sandy slithers around but seems she's calmed down for now and sticks out a forked tongue to smell the air better]

[corkscrewed]

What's the difference?

[ and he's not being combative: it's a sincere question. ]

[beejfu]

Living on means that you've got, like. Feelings and goals and aren't just stuck forever at a literal dead-end job with nothing.

When you're dead, that all goes away. You enter this void and you just don't wake up from that.

[corkscrewed]

You don't have feelings?

[ he's watching sandy so, so closely, like he's ready to bolt at the first sign of aggression. ]