IC Inbox

[beejfu]

Hi! You've reached the inbox of





Leave a note after the sound of

Comments

[beejfu]

Please! American English doesn't have an accent!

[He drops his head on Martin's knee, hugging his leg]

Surprise! I'm human. Also, a warden, weirdly.

[corkscrewed]

Weirdly enough, I might be a little less human.

[ he awkwardly pats his head. ]

That mean you've stopped beheading people?

[beejfu]

No shit?

You want more human in you? That's a sex joke.

[he gives a contented sigh]

Yep! No more murder for me! What about you? What've you been up to, kid?

[corkscrewed]

I'm good, thanks.

[ he sounds amused more than scandalized, and continues to pet his head a bit like one might a dog. ]

You really want to know? It's a bit of a doozy.

[beejfu]

I do! Tell me.

[he snuggles closer, seemingly uncaring about being pet like a dog. Actually, he kind of enjoys it]

[corkscrewed]

[ if bj's happy, martin seems fine with it. god life on the barge is weird. ]

Okay, so, uh- the apocalypse happened, and we're having to travel through these weird pocket dimensions governed by eldritch fears. But Jon's stronger than everyone else, so it's fine.

[beejfu]

Hah! No way!

Was it zombies? Global warming? Monster attacks?

[corkscrewed]

Um- more like a big culty "remake the world" ritual.

[ he won't mention that jon was the catalyst. ]

[beejfu]

Oh, those guys sound like a barrel of laughs. Is that why you're back?

[corkscrewed]

Yeah. The whole world is kind of- over.

[beejfu]

Whoops!

[corkscrewed]

[ he flicks bj's ear. ]

We're gonna fix it.

[beejfu]

[he gives a rough giggle, nuzzling Martin's knee to hide at least one ear from flicking]

Everybody's out here saving their worlds. You guys ever consider just letting one go poof? Just for the fun of it?

[corkscrewed]

[ how do you remind him so much of his dog!! ]

Yeah? Where am I supposed to go if I do that?

[beejfu]

[if he had a tail he'd be wagging it]

IDK. Here? Another world?

[corkscrewed]

We can't just abandon everyone.

[ a pause, then he sighs: ]

I've thought about it. Wish we could.

[beejfu]

Lame. What's everyone done for you lately?

[corkscrewed]

Dunno. Not much? Doesn't mean they should be doomed to an eternal emotional hellscape.

[beejfu]

Why not? Literally everyone else is when they die. Why do you think I'm here instead of back home?

[corkscrewed]

At least they got the chance to live. [ he flicks the shell of bj's ear. ]

[beejfu]

Chance to fuck things up even more, you mean.

Sorry, sorry. Trying not to be so fucking dark about death.

[corkscrewed]

You really have grown. I'm impressed.

[ no, seriously. ]

[beejfu]

Maybe. Don't say it where Hange can hear you or she'll take all the credit.

[corkscrewed]

[ he snorts. ]

I'll be sure to send her a card.

[beejfu]

I have an inmate now too.